10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex

The dating-a-friend’s-ex equation is simple: Figure out the amount of time your friend and his ex dated, then wait two-thirds of that time before you move in on the ex. So if your friend dated someone for three years, you have to wait two years after their breakup. If it was six months, you have to wait four months. If it was a one-night hookup, you have to wait between six to eight hours — depending on when she left the next day. The obvious caveats to this rule include whether your friend is a real jerk then the time limit is reduced to one-third or if the sex is really good in which case all bets are off. The danger is that in order to find out if the sex is that good, you’ll have to break the two-thirds rule, and this small loophole is single-handedly responsible for most of the world’s troubles, including — somehow — the current economic crisis. Can you date a friend’s ex? The answer to that question depends on your friend. If she has a warped view of relationships, she might consider any man an ex — whether he was an actual boyfriend, a man who once bought her a cocktail or a random guy whom she found attractive. Your psycho friend likely will get angry if you entertain dating one of her “exes.

How Long Does It Really Take To Get Over An Ex?

Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it’s not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it’s platonic, and even if it’s at their urging.

How long should I wait before being friends with an ex? He cried, I felt bad, I insisted, but we set a date that we were going to hang out.

While it’s natural to jump to conclusions and assume the worst if your partner is friends with their ex , it’s important to keep in mind that many people remain friends after a breakup — in a perfectly healthy, mature, and respectable way. That’s not to say, though, that all friendships are healthy, or that all exes remain in contact for the right reasons.

So, if something doesn’t feel right, be sure to speak up. Do they hang out with you? Do you feel respected? Are there clear and healthy boundaries? If so, their friendship is likely nothing to worry about. If you feel bad, though, there may be a reason why. Here are a few times it’s OK for your partner to be friends with their ex , and other times when it may not be, according to experts.

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If I could ask a genie for just one liiiiittle thing, it would be for a one-size-fits-all amount of time to get over someone after a breakup. Because not knowing how long all those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad feelings that come after your heart got shattered and stomped on will last is straight-up agony. Of course, everyone has their theories.

Sex and the City ‘s Charlotte York famously said it takes half the time of a relationship’s duration to get over that person as in, a two-year relationship would take a full year to bounce back from.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex Did Your Friend Move On To A Long-Term Relationship Or Marriage?

Which is, of course, the people you already know. They likely know the restaurants you like and some of your Game of Thrones fan theories — they also probably know all the gory details about you and your ex. There are pros and cons to all of these scenarios. Who cares about what other people think? This is usually solved by being up front with both your ex and their friend and asking. But friendships are complicated.

You loved or at least liked your ex, so it makes sense that you vibe with their friends.

Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?

Last Updated: February 8, References Approved. This article has been viewed , times. A breakup can be heartbreaking and the inclination to stay friends is understandable.

If you want to stay friends but your ex doesn’t want any contact, you difficult emotions and wait until the no-contact period has passed. with myself and my needs before I can be in a relationship with someone. If they do notice, your breakup will be old news, so it won’t matter as much. Dating basics.

Thinking about hooking up with them doesn’t make you a bad person, but not until you really, really give it some thought should you even consider turning those thoughts into action. One school of thought says you should close that door forever. Be prepared to let the ex-hookup fantasy fade away in order to maintain the friendship.

Otherwise, it could get ugly. Markie Twist , licensed family therapist and certified sexuality educator. In Cosmopolitan , completely free of prior complication. Twist recommends that you talk to your friend first. Remind them how much you value them and their friendship and do not want to see them hurt. Then let them know you’re interested in their ex and, if it is pursued, ask how it would affect them. What would the rules, roles, and boundaries look like? Can you talk about the relationship?

5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date a Friend’s Ex

Subscriber Account active since. Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend’s ex. But, pursuing these feelings might not always be worth it. Here are some potential red flags to consider if you’re trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Whether the relationship went down in flames or if two people who truly loved each other realized that things just weren’t going to work out, most breakups can be tough. And some can be worse than others.

“How Long Do You Have to Wait to Be Friends with an Ex?” Damned if I know. If by that question you actually mean “how long dating date wait before going out.

As you can read in the guide to get your ex back and my guide to get your ex girlfriend back , I recommend that you stay at least 30 days without contacting your ex. Did you know that breakup pain is associated with the same part of your brain as drug addiction? You know how some people say they are addicted to their significant other? Well, in reality, this addiction is very real.

And the best way to handle any addiction is to stay away from the drug. I know that you want your ex back and you see no point in staying away from them when all you want is to end up in their arms. And suddenly there was no where you can buy heroin. Would you use this as an opportunity to quit your addiction or would you travel to a different country just so you could satisfy your addiction? You have to be sure whether or not you love your ex or you are just addicted to them before you get back together.

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It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think.

But you do need to make sure you go about this right.

When it’s a friend of a long-term ex, it can be trickier, especially if you all Here are some things to consider before letting your ex’s friend know.

Here are some examples:. Her tits were so unreal, they were like something out of an anime cartoon. Trust is the backbone of a great friendship or relationship and if you break it, the relationship comes crashing down. It ruined me for years, but I eventually picked myself off the floor and transformed myself into the man I am today. However, if a friend wanted her shortly after she dumped me, I would no longer consider him a true friend.

If your friend married a woman, then he most-likely really loved her.

Dating a Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend: When It’s OK and When It’s Not

As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister?

What do you do when you want to date your best friend’s ex? Sorry, Peter, I was very much the asshole in the situation. Before you go sticking your tongue in stray orifices (like her face, ya pervert) talk to Wait, is it still kosher to use the term “kosher” when not talking about food blessed by a rabbi?!

You never think anything could breakup you and your best friend, but you could be wrong. Everyone has unspoken rules or guidelines around what is and is not okay to do in their friendship, otherwise known as bro or girl code. These guidelines might be as harmless as not giving unsolicited advice to more serious deal breakers like not abandoning your intoxicated friend at a party. While we can all agree the ex-files is not territory we should be steering into, sometimes life happens and we fall for people unexpectedly.

Beyond mutual unhealthiness, was their relationship abusive? If so, there are two things you should seriously contemplate:. Side Note: A history of violence or aggressive behavior is a huge red flag that should not be ignored. Even if your potential partner is kind and loving at the start of the relationship and actively seeking counseling to curb their controlling and aggressive behavior there is always the possibility they will repeat past behavior.

Before you proceed, be sure both parties your friend and their ex have had ample time to get over each other.

Can you DATE your FRIEND’S EX? He Said/She Said ep. #21 w/ Jess Lizama